captamani

let's see how a conversation between koundamani and vijaykanth in airport shapes into..

kound: neenga yaru saar??
captain: (with a smile).. cabtan..
koun: plane ellam otuveengala??
capt: thevapatta...
koun: vera enna elam otuveenga..
capt: ippo ellarum enna thaan otikittu irukaanga..
koun: sar! naan kooda saidapeta varaikkum ponum sar..
capt: turns and shows his red eyes..
koun: arasiyalla idhellam sagajam appa..
capt: ongallukku kalyanam aayidicha??
koun: oh! ippa indha velayellam kooda.....
capt: summa ketten ya...
koun: seri vudu.. kadasiya eppa poninga??
capt: kaalaila thaan.. planela vera edho koduthaanga.. adhu vera oru maari irukku..
koun: thoo!! sutha naatham pudichavana irukka... kadaisiya planela eppa ponaya??
capt: naan ippathaan planela irundhu varen..
koun: enakku iduthaan pirst time.. sooting poitu vareengla??
capt: aama
koun: enna padam??
capt: suspense..
koun: nee oru CBI officer... theevira vaathiya pudipa.. herione edavadhu moonu paatukku aadum.. neeyam vekkam illama aaduva..
capt: podhum podum! jananga keta padatha paaka varamaataanga...
koun: appadiye vanthutaalum!!!
capt: neenga yaru??
koun: vaangalen poikitte pesalam..
capt: enakku ippo varala
koun: ada aandava!! veliya poikitte pesalam...
capt: seri vaanga..
koun: ippo nera enga poringa??
capt: veetukku..
koun: nadula saidapetta bridgela kooda thirumba maateengala?? saar nera poi koovatha vizhundu naar adikaathinga saar..
capt: red eyes..
koun: ippo theridha magane mokka pota eppadi iukkum nu..
capt: neenga eppadi povinga??
koun: en driver varuvaan...
capt: naanum onga kooda carla varattuma..
koun: car laam enkitta illa.. avan ennoda machaan auto ottaran..
........... captain fades in the crowd.. this is to happen in real life if he continues his present form in films..

bomb vs bomb

Indian cinema has seen all kinds of bombs. Our directors have used sex bombs to dummy bombs to woo the audience.

So it is evident that without a bomb in some form or the other, a film is not complete (be it even in english).
The most notorious among these and the ones that seek interesting observations as the following are, time bombs used by villians.
They usually feature in the climax of the movie. Though every climax ends with the good coming above the bad, these are instrumental in making a world of difference among the industries(kollywood,hollywood,bollywood or tollywood)

So here is a situation which is common for all the films.. lets see how our heroes tackle it..


SITUATION:

The parents of hero and his love interest are locked in a room with their hands tied to a chair.
The room may be in the
- 5th to 10th floor of the apartment in kollywood(we dont have a buildings with more than 10 floors in chennai).
- 100+ in hollywood
- 25+ in bollywood
- actually 3rd or 4th floor in tollywood. But the audience believe it for some 100+ even if by any slightest possible means the directors fails to exaggerate.

Now the villain calls the hero and informs him about the time bomb and warns that the explosion will take place in 30 minutes.

Now lets see the reactions of our hero and his subsequent bomb diffusal..

The hero is driving a car when his mobile rings...

H: "hello"
V: "dai! on appanu aathaalum ippa enkitta irukaanga"(ur parents are with me)
H: "hello!hello! yaar pesaradhu?"(who is this)
V: "on kooda sutthume andha ponnum ippa enkitta"(ur lover is also with them)
H: "hello! yaarda nee?"(who the hell is this)

the villain then describes about the location and challenges him that he can't save his parents..

KOLLYWOOD:

27 min left
The instantaneous reaction of our hero on ending the call would be, steering the car to say 90 degree..
You should not ask if there is any turning there.. the directors are sure that u will not ask because you are already there with ur love interest(in chennai theatre, corner seat) which means you are dumb!
The camera would switch between the front and side angles... but the side angles are usually from the driver's(hero) right side from some other vehicle..
No director has made a bold attempt to show the zid ridden faces of the hero and heroines, which is only possible from the left..

25 mins left(believe it.. its tamil film.. u can reach adayar from anna nagar in 2 minutes)

Now the hero reaches the building..

He finds a lift in the building, near which there is a staircase..
Actually as we all know, a tamil hero is capable of climbing the stairs(like the petronas ad:There is no saying how far he will go) and jumping from top floors in climax.
our hero makes a staggering stop near the staircase only to hit the lift button and start climbing the stairs...

This is actually a logical error which I thought would be an entertainment element(from director)..

24(previous arguement holds good here also)

Then our hero reaches the 5th floor of the building.. he runs like hell through the aisle and enters a house which is open only to realise that tamil villains are smarter than him, they have placed them in a locked house..

So he finds a locked house in the floor and breaks the door only to make the burglar alarm go off...

As a twist in this story, we show the face of the hero from close up, his eyes show that he is panicked.. So we can conclude this to be an off-beat film..

Actually it is a logical move from the hero to find the house which is not locked from outside and no one to attend the door(because the villain will not lock from outside as it would be easy for our hero to find the house)..

The hero finds the house and gets into it..
On seeing his parents whose mouths are tied, he says,

"amma indha nelamaikku unna aalaakanadhu yaaru?"(who did this)
"sollu maa"..

his mother makes a disgusted gesture to remove the cloth from her mouth..

on removal, she says,"dai onakku eppa thaanda buthi varum?"(son, when will u come out of ur dumbness?)

now he frees his parents form the chairs and sends them out...

Then we have the crucial part, bomb difussal..
His lady love wants him to come out with them, but he gives her a kiss and sends out..
Now he closes the door- a dumb move I would say because he is making the possibility of atlest his escape bleak if not for the entire building..


15 mins left( because there was a matter song when the hero kissed the heroine)..

his instinct says that the bomb would be under the closet in the toilet..

on entering the bathroom, he says,"Cha! dirty ppl"

Only then he understands that there is no closet because this is a bathroom and leaves for the toilet..

he finds the bomb as he had expected...

then he tries diffusing it by pouring water over it.. poor soul thought it to be a lakshmi cracker..

only then he remembers the 45th page of his electronic lab manual(used in 2nd yr engineering)

he opens the bomb and finds a lot of wires..

5 mins left..
he starts reading the circuit.. then he says "bastards! I am a commerce graduate"..

then he thinks of throwing the away from the balcony...

Then this idea strikes him...
since he is a commerce grad, he thinks in his lines..

inflation(explosion here) takes place only when the income(input) is less than the expenditure(output)..
So to prevent it, he has to reduce the expenditure which is beyond his control..
But he can increase income(give input here)...

So the second bomb is getting ready...

Our hero sits on the bomb(with back ground music)
The music ends with the explosion and smoke from hero's mouth..

to be continued in other languages..

brutal blade

This is my personal experience which I thought would etch my memories with a positve effect. But what happened was a mere oblivion.

There was a call from my friend Barathwaj. He informed me about the seminar on Evolution of mankind at IIT Madras auditorium. I thought it would be a barter of intelectual thoughts and was very much excited. The presenter(michael cremo) whom I suppose is an evangelist of vedic thoughts, started with a dull expression on his face. He argued (or should I say informed) that evolution is not a process as proposed by Darwin and others. He claimed to have researched on this topic for 8 years. But he was not upto the mark of proving the credibility of his basic idea(which was also not clear).

Though the speech didn't excite me much, an announcement that seminars by Arundathi Roy and many prominent writers in the months to come are in the agenda was worth for the time spent.

forward funda

When was the last time you forwarded an sms which was worthless?

I would say some 5 minutes back if I were one of my friends. I believe there exists certain formats only through which these forwards are designed.
I have lised some of the standard formats with my own inputs below


Format 1: Good morning and goodnight messages

This message may consists of a long rigmarole like,

1. roses go to sleep the moon stands guard for them. you also go to sleep...
kind of messages with GOOD NIGHT at the end..

REPLY: "dai naaye, amaavasai anniki indha messaga anuppu da paakalam.." or

"en, nile stoola okkaandha thoonga maatiya?"

2. the sun rises in the east you rise from the bed.
REPLY: "dai naaye nightla evano baathroom lighta potadha paathutu 2 maniki sms anupiriye, onakku manasaatchiye illaya?"


Format 2: 10 paise messages


My name is ganga, my husband's name is kishore. He met with an accident recently. Though the accident is not as serious as the previous time when i sent a similar sms, I feel that sending these kind of messages once in a while is a good way to overcome bad omen. So as usual send this to fetch us 10 paise. Bye.


I believe these kind of messages are generated by the service provider itself to increase the traffic.
I have this doubt because, where in the world would you find time to go to a service provider to ask for help? Or where in the world is there a policy of this kind with the service provider?

Think about it..


Format 3: 10 ppl messages

I want a baby. send this to ten ppl if you are impotent. the tenth month you will have one or else your wife will run away.
dont ignore this.

Format 4: two line messages.

press down
(after you press down for some time)
press up

these kind of messages are generated to bring down sony erricson which have poor scroll.

Format 5: sardar jokes..

which is the only time when you find a sardar bright?

when he sits under a tube light.

I dont know when these ppl would change....

MTC with GPS a new era has begun.

I think everyone's aware of the fact that GPS systems are to be fitted to MTC buses in Chennai.
It is being installed on a trial basis in one of the buses in the G18 route from T.nagar to Guduvanchery.

The serious question about this implementation is, "What difference could this implementation make?"

Well, the government's thoughts could be in the lines of getting the good will of the public. Yeah, I accept that. But through what means? Here are some reasons why people would love it..


1. You can hire an auto-rickshaw from chromepet to pammal, if you find the nearest place where you could spot a PP66 is Vandalur(starting point). Gain for auto-drivers.

2. These display units could go for a repair atleast once in a month in the first year. and the frequency would increase to ten days and more in the succeeding years. My mind says,"Hey day dreamer, pray for the equipment to work for the first time."
3. If you are the kind of a person who could talk anything except the pain you have in the wrong place to your co-passeger, then understanding this system would kill your time from Central to Vandalur. Gain for the person sitting beside this person who would have been in a spitting spree (vethala) otherwise.

4. This equipment is installed only on the left side of the bus (ie) the "Magalir" side. So male passengers would escape from the ordeal of standing because a female passenger sitting on the other side usually with her over sized husband who would not part with his wife except for the time he spends in a bar. Because they are ignorant about the fact that the thing they are facing is not a video recorder. Gain for us.

5. The last row of the bus would be for males hereafter because, no woman wants to pose to a camera from that far. Gain for us.

6. There is no need for the driver to yell at the ppl on the foot-board because, lady passengers would drive them away complaining that they were hiding them from the camera. safety of the passengers ensured.

7. If you are a scavenger, wait for ten days near the stop. The display unit would be yours.

8. If you are new to the city, then this is not for you. You couldn't figure out the bus you need to board from the display in a bus-stop which even lacks proper information about routes and bus numbers.

9. It would be a comedy with the buses which take multiple routes in a single day or change of buses to other routes. I am sure the efficiency of the MTC is not to the level of chaging the number for that bus in the control room for the system.. I am sure we could spot a PP21 near
Thiruverkadu.


So these are the uses of the GPS system for a common-man who expects nothing more than a bus with limited crowd and a near comforatble travelling.

Where am I?

This is the first question I asked to myself after signing into my account in Blogger. I felt grateful that my id was not scrapped.

I had been seriously into Orkut for one year now. I feel that changing my profile every now and then is not something equivalent to blogging. I believe people who had been visiting my profile in orkut would understand. The 'about me' section was like a playground where i could play with my thoughts, but no longer I feel the same.

So serious blogging is what I feel is required to fulfill my thought process