Whenever you feel bored.....

I wrote the following article for my college magazine. It is an attempt to make you laugh. But believe me you will smile when you read the first time, laugh the second time and roll on the floor the third time. If not so, then you must also have my condition(read to know what my condition is).



Whenever you feel bored, take a deep breath, open your eyes and close it. The next thing that should come to your mind is, you should have not closed your eyes but ears. Only then you will find that closing your ears completely would not actually mean to just close your pinna (google it out, if you don’t know what it is) with your palms, but to prevent any audible signal from entering the range of the receiver.

Now, you will be badly in need of a cotton roll. Ask your mom where the roll of cotton is, which you should have last seen when you were searching for your lost key. Thank God, because in the next two minutes you will be finding what you had searched for. Your wait of the time equivalent, not to the time you searched for cotton but the time you searched for the key is over. Yes, you will find your lost key. Though you should have found something which is lost and was never expected to be found, you should not feel happy about it, as happiness leads to complacency which makes life boring. You are doing this to come out of boredom.

Also, you should not feel happy because, there is no lock for the key to open. Yes, you should have sold the cycle the month before. Only then will this treatment take effect. The next best thing for you to do is, try losing the key again. Remember, you had once found the cotton roll while searching for the key. It’s a bit difficult to keep the key behind the books in the shelf and forget it the next second. Now, you should try the art of voluntary forgetfulness. If you find it difficult, take the key back. Now search for the key behind the books. Now you are actually pretending to have forgotten that you have taken the key back. This is your first success in the art of voluntary forgetfulness.
At this point of time you should have forgotten that you were actually searching for cotton roll. This is your first success in overcoming boredom. Going back to the hunt for the cotton roll, ask yourself this question, “What would you call a person who was seen while rolling on the floor?” The answer should be,”caught on roll”. There you are, you have got cotton roll. If you still feel bored, check yourself with a doctor. Boredom can kill people, mostly others and that’s also called madness. So, what do you call me? I call my condition, Progressive Madness.